You have probably been thinking that I am dead. I am not. Yay!
I would just like to say that I have been drinking a fair amount of vodka, so please cut me some slack.
Ok! So, anyway... one of the reasons I've been so horrible about writing is that something screwed up the keyboard on my laptop. I don't know what happened, but some of the keys got all sticky and wouldn't work. I'm pretty sure I didn't spill anything on it, so as far as I'm concerned the only logical explanation is that one of my glorious little feline princesses peed on my computer. That isn't really a good explanation since neither one of them tinkles indiscriminately but I am refusing to accept the blame for any computer keyboard destruction so I am going to pin it on something that can't argue. But The Mister bought and installed a new keyboard for me a few days ago, so watch out bitches!
The other reason for my lack of writing is the fact that I am a lazy old cow. But let's not dwell on that fact, shall we?
Anyway, there's not much to report. At present I am sitting in a hotel suite in Roanoke VA with my husband and his two sons who are here for the holidays. Number One Son (who is on his "gap year" - the year between high school and college) has spent the last year in Europe wreaking havoc that I am much happier not knowing about, despite my partial funding of it. Like when he called from Amsterdam pleading for money and I said "Send it to him but for the love of Christ don't tell me what he's going to spend it on." And Number Two Son came over directly from his home in Australia. His mischief has all been local up to this point because he hasn't invaded Europe yet but that day is coming soon. Europe, before too long you'll have an exuberant consumption machine who spends most of his time eating, farting, and trying to score booze. You'll probably want to prepare yourself.
We spent some time at Pop's Sparkles in New Jersey and took the train into New York City where we trudged around in slush and tried to dodge freezing rain. I harumphed my way around Times Square, Madison Square Garden, and Rockefeller Plaza while being pelted in the face with freezing precipitation, but we grabbed some dogs at Nathan's and that made it all worth it. I know it's all eyelids and assholes, but hot damn! That's a good fucking hot dog.
So we're on our way home now, which will leave me with a total of three bastards who eat their weight in food every day while informing me that it's not to-MAY-toe, it's to-MAH-toe.
Bastards. It's going to be a long ass week.
I would just like to say that I have been drinking a fair amount of vodka, so please cut me some slack.
Ok! So, anyway... one of the reasons I've been so horrible about writing is that something screwed up the keyboard on my laptop. I don't know what happened, but some of the keys got all sticky and wouldn't work. I'm pretty sure I didn't spill anything on it, so as far as I'm concerned the only logical explanation is that one of my glorious little feline princesses peed on my computer. That isn't really a good explanation since neither one of them tinkles indiscriminately but I am refusing to accept the blame for any computer keyboard destruction so I am going to pin it on something that can't argue. But The Mister bought and installed a new keyboard for me a few days ago, so watch out bitches!
The other reason for my lack of writing is the fact that I am a lazy old cow. But let's not dwell on that fact, shall we?
Anyway, there's not much to report. At present I am sitting in a hotel suite in Roanoke VA with my husband and his two sons who are here for the holidays. Number One Son (who is on his "gap year" - the year between high school and college) has spent the last year in Europe wreaking havoc that I am much happier not knowing about, despite my partial funding of it. Like when he called from Amsterdam pleading for money and I said "Send it to him but for the love of Christ don't tell me what he's going to spend it on." And Number Two Son came over directly from his home in Australia. His mischief has all been local up to this point because he hasn't invaded Europe yet but that day is coming soon. Europe, before too long you'll have an exuberant consumption machine who spends most of his time eating, farting, and trying to score booze. You'll probably want to prepare yourself.
We spent some time at Pop's Sparkles in New Jersey and took the train into New York City where we trudged around in slush and tried to dodge freezing rain. I harumphed my way around Times Square, Madison Square Garden, and Rockefeller Plaza while being pelted in the face with freezing precipitation, but we grabbed some dogs at Nathan's and that made it all worth it. I know it's all eyelids and assholes, but hot damn! That's a good fucking hot dog.
So we're on our way home now, which will leave me with a total of three bastards who eat their weight in food every day while informing me that it's not to-MAY-toe, it's to-MAH-toe.
Bastards. It's going to be a long ass week.
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