Oh my, it's been so long.
Well, anyway! What's new, you whores? Not much has changed here in Chateau de Sparkles. The Mister and I continue to work our delicate fingers to the bone every day, although now that I think of it my husband would probably not appreciate having his hands referred to as delicate, so let's call his manly. Mine are delicate. Delicate like rose petals. The cats are doing well and are probably planning their next MMA encounter as we speak. Most of the time they toddle around doing their own thing, but every once in a while it's like a bell rings somewhere in the distance, a bell only the two of them can hear, and then it's ON. Chasing, pouncing, stalking, followed by more chasing and pouncing, and then the occasional throttling. Then they retreat to their separate corners and take naps like nothing ever happened. Now that it's summer their sparring sessions have decreased in frequency which is just fine since they often occur around 4 o'clock in the morning. Mama needs her beauty sleep. Mama needs more than sleep actually, but that's really another story.
Ah, summertime. Which brings me to a very exciting development here in SparklesLand. We have an abundance of wildlife here, despite the fact that we're in a pretty urban area. There are a bunch of birds and squirrels, and I have managed to make friends with members of both species! There's a little gray bird who hangs around our deck and pecks away at the birdseed we've put out. Other birds do that too of course, but this particular one doesn't mind me being outside while she does it. She chows down equally well solo or with an audience. Either she's not afraid of people or she's really goddamn hungry. Either way she is now my new animal friend, and her name is Gertie. There's also a very young squirrel who shares Gertie's lack of shyness and/or overwhelming hunger, and I had a nice conversation with her today as she gnawed on some sunflower seeds right in front of me. No, I wasn't drunk. And I have named her Bonita. But the best thing of all is that I'm pretty sure I've seen a bat flying around!
I've written before about my desire to establish my own personal bat colony but geography and environment have conspired to keep that dream unrealized. But the other evening I was sitting outside trying to attract some new animal friends when out of the corner of my eye I saw the frenetic fluttering of a small animal in the sky. My heart wouldn't let me believe it at first. I was trying to talk myself out of it. Maybe it was a drunk bird? A robin hooked on meth? A crow who had smoked too much bad shit? But no! It was a bat... I was sure of it! I sat and thought what I could do at that very moment to encourage it to keep fluttering around my backyard, disposing of all the mosquitoes that I'd coated myself in DEET to repel. Would it like an old banana? Some rotting meat? I didn't know! What do bats really like? What is their equivalent of beer and nachos? In the end I decided to put it into Mother Nature's hands and let the chips fall where they may. I sure hope that bitch is my friend.
So, that about wraps it up. You are probably astounded right now by my exciting life on the edge and feeling a bit dejected about your own lackluster existence. Please do not feel that way. I promise you that stalking bats and talking to indigenous rodents is not as exciting as it may sound.
Sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything, but living the life of a daredevil requires a great deal of time. Oh, before I forget! Some have asked why I'm not on Twitter. Well, I AM, my bitches! I have been for a while actually but never did anything with it. I still don't do THAT much with it since I refuse to be that guy who posts about what they're cooking for dinner or how sunburned their nose got while they were gardening. I've only recently started "twittering" on a semi-regular basis (oh my sweet lord kill me now) and those are still pretty few and far between. But if you're so inclined you can follow me here. I can't promise much, but I'll definitely post more there than I do here.
Until next time, whores. xoxo
Well, anyway! What's new, you whores? Not much has changed here in Chateau de Sparkles. The Mister and I continue to work our delicate fingers to the bone every day, although now that I think of it my husband would probably not appreciate having his hands referred to as delicate, so let's call his manly. Mine are delicate. Delicate like rose petals. The cats are doing well and are probably planning their next MMA encounter as we speak. Most of the time they toddle around doing their own thing, but every once in a while it's like a bell rings somewhere in the distance, a bell only the two of them can hear, and then it's ON. Chasing, pouncing, stalking, followed by more chasing and pouncing, and then the occasional throttling. Then they retreat to their separate corners and take naps like nothing ever happened. Now that it's summer their sparring sessions have decreased in frequency which is just fine since they often occur around 4 o'clock in the morning. Mama needs her beauty sleep. Mama needs more than sleep actually, but that's really another story.
Ah, summertime. Which brings me to a very exciting development here in SparklesLand. We have an abundance of wildlife here, despite the fact that we're in a pretty urban area. There are a bunch of birds and squirrels, and I have managed to make friends with members of both species! There's a little gray bird who hangs around our deck and pecks away at the birdseed we've put out. Other birds do that too of course, but this particular one doesn't mind me being outside while she does it. She chows down equally well solo or with an audience. Either she's not afraid of people or she's really goddamn hungry. Either way she is now my new animal friend, and her name is Gertie. There's also a very young squirrel who shares Gertie's lack of shyness and/or overwhelming hunger, and I had a nice conversation with her today as she gnawed on some sunflower seeds right in front of me. No, I wasn't drunk. And I have named her Bonita. But the best thing of all is that I'm pretty sure I've seen a bat flying around!
I've written before about my desire to establish my own personal bat colony but geography and environment have conspired to keep that dream unrealized. But the other evening I was sitting outside trying to attract some new animal friends when out of the corner of my eye I saw the frenetic fluttering of a small animal in the sky. My heart wouldn't let me believe it at first. I was trying to talk myself out of it. Maybe it was a drunk bird? A robin hooked on meth? A crow who had smoked too much bad shit? But no! It was a bat... I was sure of it! I sat and thought what I could do at that very moment to encourage it to keep fluttering around my backyard, disposing of all the mosquitoes that I'd coated myself in DEET to repel. Would it like an old banana? Some rotting meat? I didn't know! What do bats really like? What is their equivalent of beer and nachos? In the end I decided to put it into Mother Nature's hands and let the chips fall where they may. I sure hope that bitch is my friend.
So, that about wraps it up. You are probably astounded right now by my exciting life on the edge and feeling a bit dejected about your own lackluster existence. Please do not feel that way. I promise you that stalking bats and talking to indigenous rodents is not as exciting as it may sound.
Sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything, but living the life of a daredevil requires a great deal of time. Oh, before I forget! Some have asked why I'm not on Twitter. Well, I AM, my bitches! I have been for a while actually but never did anything with it. I still don't do THAT much with it since I refuse to be that guy who posts about what they're cooking for dinner or how sunburned their nose got while they were gardening. I've only recently started "twittering" on a semi-regular basis (oh my sweet lord kill me now) and those are still pretty few and far between. But if you're so inclined you can follow me here. I can't promise much, but I'll definitely post more there than I do here.
Until next time, whores. xoxo
