Following is a transcript of some of today's instant messages between me and a coworker:
Coworker: [Manager who shall not be named] wants to know if he can take a vacation day on Sunday. I've already got coverage for him but I told him we'd need your permission first.
Me: As long as there's coverage it's alright with me. Why does he need Sunday off?
CW: He's proposing to his girlfriend on Saturday night.
Me: In that case, tell his ass to get in here on Sunday so he can work toward paying off that freaking rock he just bought her.
CW: I know! He sprang for a real diamond and everything. What's wrong with cubic zirconia or pawnshops?
Me: He's so young and idealistic.
CW: After two failed marriages I can tell you that if I ever do it again I'll have my girlfriend collect aluminum cans. Then she can buy whatever ring she wants with the can money.
Me: You are so romantic.
CW: Maybe she'll bring candles so there will be some nice ambiance when I present her with a can of beanie weenies.
Me: You have the soul of a poet.
CW: If I'm in the right mood I might even buy name brand.
Me: Well, [The Mister] and I got married in a conference/storage room in a courthouse in Columbiana, Alabama. And then we stopped by Sonic for lunch on our way home to take a nap. You sound like my kind of people.
CW: Did you supersize anything?
Me: Just our love.
Coworker: [Manager who shall not be named] wants to know if he can take a vacation day on Sunday. I've already got coverage for him but I told him we'd need your permission first.
Me: As long as there's coverage it's alright with me. Why does he need Sunday off?
CW: He's proposing to his girlfriend on Saturday night.
Me: In that case, tell his ass to get in here on Sunday so he can work toward paying off that freaking rock he just bought her.
CW: I know! He sprang for a real diamond and everything. What's wrong with cubic zirconia or pawnshops?
Me: He's so young and idealistic.
CW: After two failed marriages I can tell you that if I ever do it again I'll have my girlfriend collect aluminum cans. Then she can buy whatever ring she wants with the can money.
Me: You are so romantic.
CW: Maybe she'll bring candles so there will be some nice ambiance when I present her with a can of beanie weenies.
Me: You have the soul of a poet.
CW: If I'm in the right mood I might even buy name brand.
Me: Well, [The Mister] and I got married in a conference/storage room in a courthouse in Columbiana, Alabama. And then we stopped by Sonic for lunch on our way home to take a nap. You sound like my kind of people.
CW: Did you supersize anything?
Me: Just our love.
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