Friday, September 05, 2008
I Should Probably Be The Vice President
I recently overheard a conversation between two women who were discussing Sarah Palin and why she would be a stellar vice president. One of them said she was going to vote Republican because Palin was "a hockey mom and hockey moms don't back down."

I've always known that the criteria for being a VP wasn't as rigid as it was for President, but apparently I had no idea! Now I know the office is open to just about anybody. As long as you don't go and do some bullshit like shoot someone in the face-- ok, bad example.

Anyway, now that all that has been cleared up, I know that I am supremely qualified to be your Vice President. Here is why I expect your vote in November:

1. I know how to drive a car.
2. I can open jars all by myself.
3. I always never forget to clean out the lint filter on the dryer.
4. My favorite soup is potato.
5. I don't spit when I talk. Usually.

There. I've laid it all out for you. I may not be a hockey mom but you can't deny I've got some goddamn great qualities. And I've never shot anyone in the face, either. Suck on that, Republicans.


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