At some point on Sunday I began feeling a bit under the weather. It didn't feel like anything serious but I was unable to bounce back from whatever it was that was afflicting me. I am sure that's because of my exceptionally dainty constitution. As I believe I have mentioned before, I am delicate like a rose petal.
Anyway, I ended up staying home from work yesterday. I spent all day on the sofa with my trusty pals Ritz and Ginger Ale, watching more Matlock reruns than I am comfortable admitting to. My highly technical self-treatment worked though, because I felt better enough this morning to go back to work. I was still experiencing spells where I felt lightheaded, queasy, and dizzy, but it's not like that was too much different than my regular demeanor so I didn't think anyone would notice.
About an hour after I arrived at work I was sitting in my office going through my email when another "spell" hit me, so I leaned back in my chair and let my head loll around as though I'd lost all musculature in my neck. I'm pretty sure my tongue was hanging out of my mouth, too. It was at this exact moment that my boss, The Man, came in.
The Man: Are you stoned?
Me: No, I'm just a little dizzy and lightheaded. I do look like I'm stoned though, don't I?!?! Hahaha!!!
The Man: Eh, ok. Anyway, did you get my email about my proposed change to [company policy]? I need your input on that.
Me: Yes, I got it. I wanted to talk to you about that. I must not be understanding correctly because if we do it the way you described it it's going to cost a fortune and be a logistical nightmare. And, uh oh... dizzy again.
The Man: I don't understand.
Me: Well, here are the numbers I came up with earlier. Are these the changes you referred to?
The Man: Yes, but... hmmm.
Me: I've put together a spreadsheet for you to look at. I think it might make it a little clearer and... arrwwwaghh... [head lolling with tongue slightly poking out]
[...]
The Man: I don't believe this shit.
Me: Well I've done the math twice, I'm pretty sure my calculations are correct... warrppttthh...
The Man: It's not that.
Me: Huh?
[...]
The Man: I cannot believe it took an insane stoned woman to explain it to me before I understood.
Me: [wiping drool from chin] Dude, that's why I'm here.
Anyway, I ended up staying home from work yesterday. I spent all day on the sofa with my trusty pals Ritz and Ginger Ale, watching more Matlock reruns than I am comfortable admitting to. My highly technical self-treatment worked though, because I felt better enough this morning to go back to work. I was still experiencing spells where I felt lightheaded, queasy, and dizzy, but it's not like that was too much different than my regular demeanor so I didn't think anyone would notice.
About an hour after I arrived at work I was sitting in my office going through my email when another "spell" hit me, so I leaned back in my chair and let my head loll around as though I'd lost all musculature in my neck. I'm pretty sure my tongue was hanging out of my mouth, too. It was at this exact moment that my boss, The Man, came in.
The Man: Are you stoned?
Me: No, I'm just a little dizzy and lightheaded. I do look like I'm stoned though, don't I?!?! Hahaha!!!
The Man: Eh, ok. Anyway, did you get my email about my proposed change to [company policy]? I need your input on that.
Me: Yes, I got it. I wanted to talk to you about that. I must not be understanding correctly because if we do it the way you described it it's going to cost a fortune and be a logistical nightmare. And, uh oh... dizzy again.
The Man: I don't understand.
Me: Well, here are the numbers I came up with earlier. Are these the changes you referred to?
The Man: Yes, but... hmmm.
Me: I've put together a spreadsheet for you to look at. I think it might make it a little clearer and... arrwwwaghh... [head lolling with tongue slightly poking out]
[...]
The Man: I don't believe this shit.
Me: Well I've done the math twice, I'm pretty sure my calculations are correct... warrppttthh...
The Man: It's not that.
Me: Huh?
[...]
The Man: I cannot believe it took an insane stoned woman to explain it to me before I understood.
Me: [wiping drool from chin] Dude, that's why I'm here.
4 Comments:
"The Man: I cannot believe it took an insane stoned woman to explain it to me before I understood."
I love that!
Maybe he'll start supplying NyQuil shooters in the break room.
Jay: That would make my life more bearable....
No kidding. I'd be the bitch with the unstoppable morale.
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