The Sparkles Plenty workplace phone: [one ringy dingy]
Me: This is Kristina. (Please note how I answer the phone like a high-powered executive. BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I AM, PEOPLE!) (Shut up.)
The Mister: Good afternoon! I'm back home. I got the shopping done for everybody's presents.
Me: Yay! I happened to get some shopping done too, birthday boy. I feel like I've just been prison-raped, so I hope you like your gift.
TM: I'm sure I will. What did you get me?
Me: A nice sundress and some sassy sandals.
TM: As long as it flatters my figure. So anyway, how are you doing?
Me: Fine, but I'm devastated by hunger. I haven't had lunch and I might pass out at any moment!
TM: You haven't had lunch? It's almost three o'clock. When are you going to eat?
Me: I could go to the deli downstairs, but if I have another turkey wrap I will probably vomit into my trashcan. So I'll probably wait until I get home and find some leftovers.
TM: There's that baklava we brought home from the restaurant last night if you want that.
Me: But man cannot live on baklava alone!
TM: I guess not.
Me: I think I might like to try sometime, though.
Me: This is Kristina. (Please note how I answer the phone like a high-powered executive. BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I AM, PEOPLE!) (Shut up.)
The Mister: Good afternoon! I'm back home. I got the shopping done for everybody's presents.
Me: Yay! I happened to get some shopping done too, birthday boy. I feel like I've just been prison-raped, so I hope you like your gift.
TM: I'm sure I will. What did you get me?
Me: A nice sundress and some sassy sandals.
TM: As long as it flatters my figure. So anyway, how are you doing?
Me: Fine, but I'm devastated by hunger. I haven't had lunch and I might pass out at any moment!
TM: You haven't had lunch? It's almost three o'clock. When are you going to eat?
Me: I could go to the deli downstairs, but if I have another turkey wrap I will probably vomit into my trashcan. So I'll probably wait until I get home and find some leftovers.
TM: There's that baklava we brought home from the restaurant last night if you want that.
Me: But man cannot live on baklava alone!
TM: I guess not.
Me: I think I might like to try sometime, though.
2 Comments:
You really need to be a full time writer. In my judgement (and I so like to judge), your blog is in the Top Three in Nashville. The two ahead of yours are my own. :)
Confidential to Kathy T.:
Your check is in the mail, lady.
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