Friday, April 21, 2006
This Ought to Confirm My Reservation In You-Know-Where
Many years ago I accompanied a friend of mine to a Bible study. I don’t know why I went. I can only imagine that she plied me with alcohol. Anyway, the subject of the day was something along the lines of “Evolution is a Filthy Load of Crap and Why You’ll Go To Hell If You Believe It.” For some reason – I think I’ll blame it on the liquor – I felt compelled to challenge some points. The instructor was going on about how Adam and Eve were the first humans ever, and that Adam was created out of dust or lava or whatever the hell. I asked Bible Study Dude what his feelings were on evolution.

“There’s no such thing. The Bible says that God created man.”

“Right. But do you think there a possibility that evolution is part of God’s divine plan?”

“No.”


“But… I mean, you can look at the different skulls and see how it happened. It’s right there. Where did all those fossils come from?”


“I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter.”


“Really? I think it’s pretty compelling.”


“You probably do. So where do
you think humans came from?”

“Well, I think that we evolved over millions of years through a series of mutations. Darwin’s theory makes sense, and there’s so much evidence to back it up. But I think an argument can be made for divine intervention.”


“You’re wrong. There is no way that could ever happen.”


“So you find it more likely that an unseen force built a man out of dirt and then yanked out a rib and turned that into a woman?”


“Absolutely.”


“Ok. Well, I guess that means we’re all the products of incest then, huh?”

"We are not! That’s a sin!”

“Well if Adam and Eve were the only two humans on the planet, at some point brothers and sisters had to get their freak on.”

“No.”


“Well correct me if I’m wrong, but by my understanding of your theory, there’s no other—“


“No.”


“But I don’t underst--“


“No, you don’t.”


“Can you explain that to--“


“No.”


“Really, I’m just trying to learn, I--“


“No. Just no.”


Lest anyone think that I derive pleasure from tormenting those of the Christian faith, let me say this: I was raised a Christian myself, and if at any time Bible Study Dude had acknowledged my queries and said that he understood my questions and he didn’t have all the answers to them, and that he believed as he did simply because of his faith, I would have been happy to drop it. But he treated my questions with disgust and me with disdain. And that is the opposite way of getting me to shut up.


Anyone who knows me can tell you that I can be an insufferable and obstinate skeezer, but I’m a skeezer who respects people’s faith, no matter what it may be. I don’t have to understand it, and I don’t have to accept it. It doesn’t matter to me if someone worships Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, or a Krispy Kreme doughnut. I don’t have the right to question someone else’s salvation. But they don’t have the right to question mine, either.

Of course religion – while among the most polarizing – isn’t the only subject on which people disagree. Pick any issue and there are plenty of nutbars on either side of the fence. But it seems to me that if there was a little less fingers-in-the-ears-and-“LA LA LA I can’t HEAR you”-ing and a little more acceptance of the fact that reasonable people can disagree, we’d all be much better off. And while there is more than enough bellyaching to go around, I derive the majority of my amusement from the Christian fundamentalists who claim they are being persecuted by those dirty liberals. It doesn’t amuse me because I dislike Christianity; it amuses me because they’ve brought so much of this on themselves.

The overwhelming majority of people don’t hate Christians just by virtue of their Christianity. (Again, there are crackpots everywhere. We all know this. But I’m talking about the majority here. Don’t email me!) But when people try to impose their value system on others, those others get defensive. It’s not that these “others” are trying to make the baby Jesus cry, it’s that they don’t appreciate being informed that their world view must match that of a certain group or else it’s wrong and they’re going to burn in hell forever and ever, amen. No one likes being told that others know how they should live their lives better than the people themselves, and when you foist that crap on people, they get defensive. When that happens, they get all dog-with-a-bone about stuff wherever the opportunity presents itself. Remember the Holiday Tree vs. Christmas Tree clusterfuck that we saw last year? Now, to me, it’s a Christmas tree and it always will be. But when I got a load of all the dillholes squawking about how Christians are only trying to ensure America is the way it "ought to be" and how dare we question God’s Divine Law, and if we don’t agree we hate America and the Pilgrims and the Constitution and the Statue of Liberty and need to get the hell out because we’re nothing but dirty pinkos, I’ll be damned if I didn’t go out of my way to refer to it as a Holiday tree from time to time.

We’ve got to knock off the “If you’re not with me, you’re against me” nonsense. For example, not long ago I learned that I hate America. Color me surprised! And in keeping with my new status as a Very Bad American, allow me to offer these comments: Just because someone doesn’t share our religious, political, or societal views doesn’t automatically make them wrong, nor does it make them our enemy by default. We can’t summarily dismiss someone’s ideas because they differ from ours. We can’t assume that because they don’t share our exact opinions they’re ignorant fools. The people who are the real ignorant fools are the ones who parrot what is spoon-fed to them and condemn anyone who dares to offer a different opinion. By listening and considering, not only might we learn something, we’ll quit alienating people, creating enemies that wouldn't exist otherwise, and making ourselves look like know-it-all asses.

There have been many others who have said the same thing, and said it better than I ever could, so I need to cram it and get off my soapbox.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I believe I have some tires to pee on so that I have something to write about next time.







2 Comments:

Blogger Jeffrey said...

new to your blog, but hey.

"We can’t summarily dismiss someone’s ideas because they differ from ours. We can’t assume that because they don’t share our exact opinions they’re ignorant fools. The people who are the real ignorant fools are the ones who parrot what is spoon-fed to them and condemn anyone who dares to offer a different opinion."

ditto.

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